How I Broke Free From Inferiority, Attracted Better, and Became the Man God Designed Me to Be

For a long time in my life, I valued substance over appearance. I’ve always been wired that way — maybe because I’m a sapiosexual, someone drawn more to depth, intelligence, and inner worth than physical packaging.

But knowing my purpose wasn’t enough. I noticed a painful pattern:

👉 Most people drawn to me, and even the ladies around me, were operating below my value system in many ways.

And when it came to the kind of woman I truly desired — spiritually, intellectually, emotionally — I often felt small, inadequate, and not good enough for her.

People even told me,

 “That girl is out of your league.”

For years, I lived under this silent prison of self-judgment — a cage I built with my own hands.

Why I Kept Hearing “No” From God

Looking back now, I understand something deep:

It wasn’t that God didn’t want to bless me.

It was that I didn’t see myself as someone who could handle the blessing.

I walked for years with:

subtle inferiority complex,

lack of confidence,

emotional immaturity,

self-limiting beliefs,

and mental ceilings I didn’t even know existed.

These internal issues did two major things:

1. They attracted the wrong people into my life, because brokenness attracts brokenness.

2. They made me feel unworthy of the quality of the woman I truly desired, so I never reached for what I really wanted.

You cannot rise above the picture you carry of yourself.

🔥 How Everything Shifted

The turning point didn’t come by accident.

I deliberately began a journey of self-transformation.

I picked up books.

I listened to sermons.

I spent time in prayer.

And slowly, steadily, deeply — my mind began to change.

It was like scales fell off my eyes.

I discovered I wasn’t “small.”

I wasn’t “not enough.”

I wasn’t “out of her league.”

No…

I realized I was simply living far below my true identity.

I saw myself clearly — the man God designed, not the man fear painted.

🔹 A New Identity Emerged

I stopped waiting for someone to “complete” me.

I stopped waiting for validation.

I stopped shrinking myself to make others comfortable.

Instead, I began to see myself as a man with something to offer — to my generation, to my family, to the woman who will eventually become my wife.

I discovered that:

I could practice husbandhood before marriage.

I could cultivate fatherhood before having a child.

I could build confidence without arrogance.

I could grow without rushing.

And slowly, the emotional instability that used to push me into wrong relationships simply died a natural death.

🔥 Confidence Is Attractive — Even Spiritually

One thing I now understand clearly is this:

Women gravitate towards confidence — not pride, not ego, but true identity.

For years, I lacked that.

Now, I don’t look at a woman and think, “She’s too high for me.”

Why?

Because when I finally discovered my true identity in God, I realized:

👉 I am bigger than what people saw.

👉 I am bigger than what my fears told me.

👉 I am bigger than the limitations I accepted.

Now I walk with the quiet confidence of a man who knows who he is — and whose he is.

🔹 Gentle Advice to Every Single Brother:

My brother, hear me well:

Develop yourself so well that mediocrity will see you and flee.

Don’t just pray for a great woman; become a great man.

Stop chasing approval — build capacity.

Don’t allow insecurity to be the gatekeeper of your destiny.

Read books.

Upgrade your mindset.

Build emotional stability.

Strengthen your spiritual life.

Work on your gifts.

Invest in yourself.

Because you do not attract what you want — you attract who you are.

When you become a high-value man, inferior relationships will stop finding you, and you will naturally rise into the level of the woman God has designed for you.

💬 Final Thought

The day you discover your identity is the day you stop begging for love and start choosing with clarity.

I’m no longer intimidated by quality women.

I’m no longer afraid of “leagues.”

I’m no longer shrinking to fit people’s expectations.

Why?

Because I have finally grown into the man that was always inside me.

And trust me — any sister who marries this version of me…

She will be blessed indeed.

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Written by Gbadamosi Abiodun

A God chosen servant called for our generation to unveil the Truth - Jesus, His works, His ministries, His grace, passion and revelations.